Are you a go-giver in your marriage?

Anyone remember Tom Cruise singing, “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling” in Top Gun? 

Ahhhhh yes, Top Gun is such an iconic 80’s movie. There is so much passion and love in the beginning of a relationship!

But as time goes by, well, let's be honest, you can lose that feeling. And maybe, like all of us, you want to FEEL THE LOVE in your marriage again!

Have you lost THAT LOVIN’ FEELING?

Want to get it back?

Research shows that WE ALL CAN create more loving feelings by doing more loving things. 

Spouses included? 

Yes, spouses too.

So how to you get there? 

GLAD YOU ASKED!

So here goes...

YOU DECIDE TO BE A GO-GIVER in your marriage.

The GO part means you do the initiating.

The GIVE part means you ask what the other wants and then follow through with acts of love.

Researchers have found multiple benefits of giving to others for our individual selves and our relationships.

For starters, when we give to others, it not only makes us happier (and healthier), it promotes feelings of trust and cooperation in our relationships, which strengthens our connection. Giving helps you feel closer to the person you are giving to, and it helps them feel closer to you. How great is that!

Giving also promotes feelings of gratitude, which further strengthens feelings of connection in our relationship when expressed.

There is also evidence that giving is associated with the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which promotes feelings of euphoria, warmth and connection (pssst, here’s a little secret - it’s a hormone released during partner bonding and in mother-child bonding). 

Finally, the more we give, the more likely we are to get back (just don’t give for the sake of getting something in return because then it might not work as well). 

So, here are some tips to get back that Loving Feeling through giving love and nurture...

Ask one another what acts would most communicate love. Be specific. Be direct. Then try to do one thing each day that communicates love to your spouse.

Remember, your gifts of love are true gifts. They should be genuine and authentic. Make love is given freely with no strings attached. The quid pro quo approach to marriage does not end well.   

When we get our needs met, we all feel more loved and are even more bonded to our partner. Make sure you express your love clearly to one another to enhance the benefits!

Remember the principle of reaping what you sow. You may think you are giving to the other person exclusively, but we want you to think about how you are nurturing your relationship. The love you pour into one another, will water the garden you both live in day by day, enabling your life together to grow into something beautiful!

Rest into the abundance of love and remember how loved you are today. An abundance mentality reminds us that there is more than enough love to go around and are called to share this love with your spouse.

What if we didn’t wait to give love until it was given to us? 

What if we didn’t expect our spouse to read our mind? 

Tell your spouse exactly what you need today and each decide you are going to give to one another. It will give you more than you know. Giving love communicates and stirs feelings of love that stoke the fires of passion in your marriage. 

Give love and find increased: 

1. Safety
2. Security
3. Satisfaction
4. Support

I think you will be surprised at the loving feelings that will come from intentional loving acts of kindness. 

Why not start today? 

The loving feeling is yours to get back. 

Go-get-it, go-giver.