It seems as though we would be more excited to celebrate with our spouse, rather than to focus on the negative things in life.
Am I right?
But oh, no. Not so fast!
Thanks to our fear brain, and we all have one, we often focus on what is going wrong with our life, our day, or even what is wrong with our spouse.
Ouch. That one can hurt.
Research reveals that human beings tend to focus more on the negative news in the relationship rather than taking time to celebrate the positive events.
Unfortunately, our brains are wired to focus on the negative and ruminate on what is not good, not working well, or not making us happy. Our brains tend to focus on things that could harm us, like bad news, rather than being able to stay focused or celebrate the positive outcomes, hard work, accomplished tasks, or victories of ourselves or our spouse.
The good news is . . .
We can choose to change our focus, but it has to be done with intention in your marriage!
Recognize that each day has its struggles and that is okay! The struggles become a lot easier when you intentionally celebrate your victories because, let’s be honest, every day has something good to be found.
Research finds that even recognizing the small wins in your day or your spouse's day will increase the health of your relationship!
So set aside time at dinner or before bed and give it a fun name to help you remember. Give the time a meaningful name like Today’s Celebrations or Today’s Best.
Perhaps, you want to give verbal awards to one another at the end of each day, like Ultimate Survivor Award, Crushing It Award, or Best Spouse Ever Award!
You might be celebrating an amazing dinner your spouse made or talking through the meaning of a significant goal that you or your spouse reached. Maybe, one of you is going through a hard time and needs to celebrate how you are making it through, one day at a time. No matter how big or small the victory, you are celebrating your way to a healthier and more positive marriage.
Have fun and share the victories, big and small, with your spouse this week.
Your award will be a happier marriage!
Now that is something to celebrate.