I just love the movie The Family Man. Toward the end of the movie, Kate and Jack, a married couple, are facing a big family decision that neither one of them can agree upon. Kate, played by Tea Leoni, says a wonderful line in the midst of a life-changing decision and disagreement between them.
Do you know what she says?
It is one of my favorite lines ever!
She says, “I choose us.”
What does it mean to choose the “US” in YOUR marriage relationship?
Choosing us does not mean that we lose ourselves or devalue ourselves as individuals. It means that we honor the unique and special connection we share with our spouse. Choosing us means our words and actions affirm and build the unique bond we share as a couple. We make our marriage a priority and show in small or big ways, that we value our intimacy through sacrifice.
Being together is an amazing gift that also comes with responsibility. A sacrifice that is intentional, thoughtful, and fueled by love, bonds us ever deeper and closer together.
A free sacrificial gift of your time and attention has powerful results.
But let's be honest, marriage is hard and so is sacrifice. Yet, married couples consistently report being happier, healthier, and report better sex than their single counterparts. In one study, over 700 older married couples were interviewed and reported that at times marriage is hard and even sometimes very hard, but they also report their marriage as the most fulfilling and best thing in their life. So sacrificing for the good of your marriage is hard but worth it. And it would seem, that sacrificing for the “US” of your marriage is also good for you.
Making sacrifices nurtures emotional safety, bonding, and intimacy in your marriage. We all have opportunities every day to choose. Of course, we need balance and time for ourselves, but we also need to choose to sacrifice.
Remember, choosing “US” can be a small act and your sacrifices don't have to be monumental. You can say “I choose us” by everyday small things that matter and show your spouse you care.
Not sure how?
Here are some ideas:
So, don't get overwhelmed! Simple, small things that prioritize the “US” of your relationship make a big impact!
Be thoughtful and intentional.
When you both give freely, love flows freely.
Consistent, thoughtful, and yes, even small sacrifices strengthen your bond and draw you together in love.
Don’t forget to recognize and appreciate the sacrifices your partner makes each day.
Keep saying in big or small ways, every day, “I choose us!”