Does your marriage need a check-up?

Anyone need a relationship check-up? 

We have heard a lot recently about vaccines, physical check-ups and staying well through mask-wearing, hand-washing, and social distancing. 

But what about the health of your relationship. Does it need a check-up?

You know...opening up to the state of things inside yourself and your marriage. 

Sound daunting?

Well, it DOES NOT have to be something we avoid (like a shot or the dentist)! 

So, how do we make it easier to check up and check in on the state of our marriage? 

How about just asking, “How are WE doing?”

Now that wasn’t so bad, right?

Well, this weekend, let’s have an emotional and relational check-up of “US”. We will call it the Love-Connection-Check or feel free to come up with your own name for it!

Life can get so busy, so quickly, it’s easy to loose connection. That’s why it’s important we check in with one another occasionally - to become aware and reconnect. 

It is powerful to connect in places we need one another the most, but may not be consciously aware of our need without a check-up. Or we might be aware of it, but we don’t say it. Or, we might say it but in kind of a mean and condescending way because there does not seem like we have time or space to talk about it with love and intentionality.

Okay, so how does this simple question help you to reconnect?

Well, IMMEDIACY cultivates INTIMACY. 

“What is immediacy?” you might ask.

Immediacy is checking in on how you are doing, in the HERE AND NOW, and how you are doing as a couple in the present moment.

It may seem simple but we often neglect to check in on the present, in the here and now. Often, we talk about what happened in the past, our plans for the tomorrow, or day to day logistics, but it is very powerful to talk about the experience you are both having IN THE PRESENT.

The WE of the question is the important part to focus on as well. 

When we know the answer to how WE are doing, we can do something about it. 

No matter what the answer, if you are non-defensive and open, you will be able to gently move toward one another in connection, care, understanding and intimacy. 

So ask away! AND instead of thinking the conversation will reveal your mistakes as a person or couple, begin to see your Love-Connection-Check as your ability to attend to an area that needs your attention.

Take time together and slow down.

Practice immediacy or your Love-Connection-Check once a week and you will experience more intimacy.

Need some tips?

1. Set aside your phone.
2. Look one another in the eye.
3. Listen with your ears, eyes and heart.
4. Reflect what you hear and ask for clarification rather than jumping to conclusions.

The goal is to stay in the moment and seek understand as you connect with one another. 

Being FULLY WITH one another in the moment is immediacy, to MORE FULLY see, know, and love your spouse!

Practice immediacy this weekend to spark intimacy!